Stolen Innocence. He was someone I thought would never hurt me, but....he killed me.
When I was around eight to ten years I was raped by someone close to me. I was watching a movie with him, and he started to touch me. He forced himself onto me and took my childhood away.
I told my biological mother and father what he had sone but they didn't believe me. When they asked him about it he said that he hadn't touched me. So, they believed him. They just said that I needed to stop making up lies.
As a child I could never really catch a break. That wasn't the only time he had taken advantage of me. I remember a time when we had some friends over, he and his friend forced the guys younger brother and me to do things with them.
I remember they forced him to have sexual intercourse and forced my to touch them. I feel such anger and sadness for that young boy. He recently told me that he wanted nothing to do with me because I was there that night.
If only he had known that I have experienced that same trauma. He just feels so alone. He doesn't want people to know because he doesn't want them to think that he is gay. And just because that happens to a male, it DOES NOT make them gay.
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with being gay. But to shame someone's sexual identity is disgusting. Especially when something like this has happened to them.
It took tons of courage on my part to share this story with you. I almost didn't post this because I am literally terrified of the type of response I will get. I just hope that this can spread some type of awareness that not everyone is as they seem. That the phrase, "You never know what someone is going through." will actually register with you.
Now comes the time to describe the man that raped me. He was always so soft, kind, and caring. He was in the same place that I was at in life, we both lived in a war zone. He was over 6 foot tall with dark hair and dark eyes. Who knew that those dark eyes were hiding such a dark persona.
This man that I have been sharing about is someone that I lived with. He is.... my brother. He took something from me that I have been trying to get back. I haven't made the best decisions in my life. I am not saying that what happened to me is an excuse for the things that I have done, but I am saying that sometimes we are just a clear reflection of our past.
In today's society we are so influenced by the things around us, and that can be said for how we are raised. We do make the conscious decision to change. You have to have the heart for change to be a better person. And I have made that decision for me. I am not saying that I a perfect person and make the most holy choices in life, I am human I do make mistakes. All I am saying is that I don't want to be that person who uses their past as an excuse for all the things that they do in life.
So there you go. Another glimpse into my troubled life. Leave a comment and share a story that you have been trying to bury. Sharing with others no matter how they feel with lift the biggest weight off of your chest. Do it for your and your health and no one else.
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